


Somewhere Down the Road (You Might Get Lonely)

by anodyneer



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Developing Relationship, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Karaoke, Future Fic, M/M, POV Stiles, Post-Therapy Derek, Singing Derek, cop stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 05:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9974504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anodyneer/pseuds/anodyneer
Summary: Right after Stiles graduated high school, Derek got very drunk and sang a karaoke love song to him - and Stiles was so mind-numbingly drunk himself that he didn't understand or remember. Six years later, Stiles finally finds out what really happened that night, and he tracks Derek down to try to make things right. (I swear, this isn't as cracky as it sounds.)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maiNuoire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maiNuoire/gifts).



> This is another prompt fill for [maiNuoire](http://archiveofourown.org/users/maiNuoire), who gave me a few different choices for the [drabble challenge](http://anodyneer.tumblr.com/post/155233178917/drabble-challenge) I reblogged on Tumblr. This one is for the prompt, "I swear, I'm not crazy!"
> 
> This is a future fic, but it only takes canon into account up until the end of S3. There's a YouTube link in the end notes to the song Derek sings; the fic title is a line from the song.

It was no surprise to Stiles that his first night hanging out with Scott in the nearly two years since they’d graduated college was spent eating pizza and wings, watching action movies, and lamenting Stiles’ lack of a love life. It was just like old times. Well, mostly.

They’d still managed to keep in touch during college, though not as much as they’d expected. With Stiles at Stanford and Scott at UC Davis, they hadn’t actually been all that far apart - or far away from Beacon Hills - but it had still been hard for them to find the time to get together.

Four years later, with both engineering and biology degrees under his belt, Stiles had gone to work for the sheriff’s department, and then some. After successfully closing a few high-profile cases, the word got out about Beacon County’s hotshot forensic science tech, and he started getting called upon to do freelance work for law enforcement agencies throughout the state.

Scott had moved on to veterinary school after getting his bachelor’s, and much of his time outside of classes was spent shadowing local vets, helping out at the Sacramento Zoo, networking with other packs, and wedding planning with Kira.

“It’s hard to believe you two are finally getting married,” Stiles said as he leaned back on the sofa, hands resting on his full stomach. “I mean, it’s not, but it is.”

“Yeah.” Scott, sprawled out on the floor, stared at the ceiling. “It sucked that her parents moved the family back to New York when she got into a school there - that was a loooong four years. But we made it, she moved back, and we still had what we did before she left. It was nice to have someone to come back to, you know?”

Stiles frowned, knowing Scott couldn’t see it. He did know. Stiles himself didn’t have anyone to come back to, and it made his chest ache to think about it. He’d done some casual dating in college, but he hadn’t been in any serious relationships. And while Scott finally got to be with the one for whom he’d been waiting, Stiles had no such luck. He probably should have moved on at some point and stopped pining for Derek once and for all, but he could never quite bring himself to do so.

“Dude, stop,” Scott said, sitting up and fixing Stiles with a critical look. “Your heart’s doing that weird thing it always does when you think about Derek.”

“Fuck off.” Stiles flipped him off for good measure, muttering _stupid werewolves_ under his breath, though there was no real heat behind the words or the gesture.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you didn’t take the chance when you had it.”

“Right,” Stiles said with a smirk, “like I ever had a snowball’s chance with Derek.”

“Stiles, buddy, I seriously thought you would’ve outgrown the insecurity thing by now.”

“I have,” Stiles insisted. “I have a job I like, and I’m damn good at it. I make a decent living, I have a nice apartment and good friends and two degrees, and I like to think I’m kind of a catch, okay? But I _never_ had a chance with Derek, so let’s not even go there. There’s not enough Ben  & Jerry’s in this _town_ to get me through that.”

Scott tilted his head, and it was only the genuine look of confusion on his face that kept Stiles from making a puppy joke. “You did, though. Why do you think he came back with Cora that last time, right after we graduated high school?”

“Well, it sure as hell wasn’t to get together with me.” Stiles gave him the most exaggerated eye roll he could manage.

“He tried, but you pretty much blew him off. Remember, he got drunk off his ass and sang that song to you, and you just kind of laughed about it? If the rest of us hadn’t been so drunk, it would’ve been painful to watch.”

Wait, what?

Stiles gaped at him, completely lost. He remembered the post-graduation trip to San Francisco with the rest of the pack, and he remembered them getting together with Cora and Derek, who’d brought plenty of aconite-laced alcohol from South America with them, for “old time’s sake” at the end of the week-long trip. They’d gone to an underground club run by members of a pack who’d had close ties with the Hales, and there were nearly as many werewolves there as humans. (There were even a few who didn’t quite fit into either category, though Stiles never did find out exactly what they were.)

And then, far away from his dad or anyone else who could report back to him, Stiles had proceeded to drink until he was gloriously, mind-numbingly hammered. He was surrounded by friends he trusted enough to take care of him if he blacked out, and the owners of the club had promised a safe place to sleep it off, so he hadn’t held back. Hell, none of them had held back.

He’d passed out at some point and woke up the following afternoon in a rather cozy bed, surrounded by packmates who seemed to be in much better shape, and who nursed him back to some semblance of awesome. He remembered seeing Cora a few times that day, but he didn’t recall seeing Derek again after that night at the club.

And thinking back, Stiles absolutely did _not_ remember Derek _singing to him_ at any point during the evening’s festivities. It just seemed so absurd that, when he finally managed to stop making goldfish faces at Scott, he couldn’t help but laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh my god, Scott,” Stiles managed, a little breathless. “Do you even know how freaking _crazy_ that sounds?”

“What sounds crazy?” And bless Scott’s soul, he honestly looked like he didn’t get it.

Stiles shook his head. “Okay, do you remember when we were kids, and we watched _Homestar Runner_ online? And there was that game with Strong Bad where, when you got hit, it said, ‘your head a splode?’ Well, when I think of Derek Hale singing, my head a splode. There is no way that happened.”

Scott’s expression turned to one of disbelief. “But it did. I swear, I’m not crazy! You mean you really don’t remember? He sang that song. I don’t remember the name, but it was on the radio a lot, like maybe a few years before we graduated. Derek got really drunk and sang it to you, and you were laughing and cheering him on.”

The story - and Scott’s delivery - was so convincing that Stiles was starting to have a hard time not believing it. As hard as he tried, though, he just couldn’t even remotely remember ever hearing Derek sing. Surely, if it’d actually happened, he would’ve been able to recall _some_ part of it, right?

“Bullshit,” he forced out, knowing he didn’t sound very confident in his denial.

“Stiles, c’mon, I wouldn’t mess with you about something like this. I know how you feel about him.” Scott’s voice was soft, and his expression morphed into something vaguely sympathetic. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you don’t remember. You were pretty seriously trashed by that point.”

Stiles stared down at the floor, his whole body numb. He didn’t need werewolf senses to know that Scott was telling the truth, no matter how much he couldn’t wrap his mind around the story. His chest started to tighten, and when Scott spoke again, Stiles could barely hear him over the ringing in his ears.

“Slow down, man. You’re panicking.” Scott was suddenly on the sofa beside him, wrapping a hand around one of Stiles’ own. “Just - just breathe. Remember how we used to do?” Scott started counting him through a deep breathing exercise they hadn’t had to use in years, but it was enough to bring Stiles back around pretty quickly. He still felt shaky as he rubbed the palm of his free hand nervously over his thigh.

“So, um, what happened?” He forced himself to meet Scott’s concerned gaze.

“That night? Uh, well, you got pretty dizzy from laughing and yelling so much, so we took you outside to get some air. And when we went back inside, Derek was gone.”

“Where did he go?” Stiles asked, his voice a raspy near-whisper. “I - I don’t remember seeing him after that.”

“Nah, Cora said he went to stay with the owners of the club, you know, to sleep it off. I think he was pretty embarrassed when he realized he actually sang in front of people. They ended up staying for the next two days, catching up with their friends or whatever, and then they flew back to Ecuador.”

Still a little numb, Stiles ran a hand through his hair. “God, how can I not remember that? It’s kind of freaking me out.”

Scott’s eyes widened, and he dropped Stiles’ hand, slapping him on the knee instead. “Dude! Cora has a video!”

“Wait, she does? Of Derek singing?”

“Yeah, unless he made her get rid of it. Which, even if he did, I’ll bet she still has a copy somewhere. I can call her and find out.”

“You have Cora’s number?”

Scott nodded enthusiastically. “I don’t have Derek’s - I don’t even know where he is - but I have Cora’s. She might not even be willing to send it, but it’s worth a try.” His expression softened, as did his voice. “You should really see it. Not because it’s Derek drunk and singing, but because...I can’t explain it. You just should.”

Stiles let out a shaky sigh. “Yeah. Okay.”

\-------------

Stiles stared at the video file on his laptop screen, trying to gather the courage to watch it. It had taken a couple of days and a lot of convincing, but Cora had finally agreed to send him the file. She made Stiles swear not to share it with anyone else and threatened bodily harm if he ever used it to humiliate Derek in any way.

 _“Look,”_ she’d said, _“just don’t hurt Derek. I mean, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t anyway, but he’s actually happy now, and...”_ She’d trailed off, her voice going a little shaky at the end. When she’d spoken again, though, it was with a fierceness Stiles had almost been able to feel through the phone line. _“And he fucking deserves that.”_

 _“Well, I don’t know how much it’s worth,”_ Stiles had told her, _“but I agree. He does.”_

 _“It’s worth more than you think,”_ Cora had answered. She hadn’t elaborated, though, instead just telling him to watch his email.

Stiles took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and then blew it out as he finally double-clicked on the filename. The video started playing, and Stiles immediately recognized the club setting, though his memories of it were foggy. He heard Cora’s voice come through his headphones, barely audible over the background noise.

_“Oh my god, I can’t believe he’s actually going to do it.”_

_“Whoa, wait. Does Derek even know how to sing?”_ The camera turned briefly to Scott, who was blinking blearily at it, obviously intoxicated. Cora’s reply came through loud and clear.

 _“Of course he does, dumbass. He used to sing when we were kids. He only did it at home, though.”_ The camera turned back to the stage just in time for Derek to come into view.

He spoke briefly with the person operating the karaoke system before walking to the center of the stage, swaying a little on his feet before steadying himself. Stiles had never seen Derek so drunk - hell, he’d never seen him drunk, period. A part of him wanted to stop watching out of respect for Derek, but both Scott and Cora had seemed pretty convinced that he needed to see the video, so he forced down his secondhand embarrassment and watched, rubbing his sweaty palms against his thighs.

The music started, and Derek grinned at someone standing down in front of the stage. He was watching Derek so closely that it took a moment for Stiles to realize Derek was smiling at _him_. The Stiles in the video gave Derek a goofy smile and an exaggerated thumbs-up in return.

Okay, he definitely didn’t remember any of that happening.

_“How come all the perfect guys like you are taken, baby?_  
_I’ve been looking for someone like you to save me._  
_Life’s too easy to be so damn complicated._  
_Take your time and I’ll be waiting.”_

Stiles gasped as he listened to the lyrics, his heart beating a frantic rhythm in his chest.

_“Keep me in mind._  
_Somewhere down the road, you might get lonely._  
_Keep me in mind,_  
_And I pray someday that you will love me only.”_

“Jesus Christ,” Stiles breathed, pausing the video to catch his breath. He closed his eyes and ran a hand across his forehead. There was a tightness gathering in his chest, but he couldn’t tell if it was the start of a panic attack or an emotional response to what he’d been watching. He pressed the heel of his hand against his breastbone, massaging it gently.

When Stiles opened his eyes, though, it was to the frozen image of Derek Hale singing him a love song. And there was no mistaking that Derek was directing the song to Stiles alone and not to the crowd in general. Video Stiles, drunkenly oblivious, stood there in mid-clap, hips cocked at an odd angle like he’d been dancing.

With a shaky sigh, Stiles bit the bullet and started the video again.

 _“I think about you somedays,_  
_And the way I would lay, wasting day after day with you._  
_And we always go our separate ways,_  
_But no one can love you, baby, the way I do.”_

Derek managed to hit a high note on the last word of the line, and as he sang through the chorus again, Stiles couldn’t help thinking that Derek was actually a decent singer. He wouldn’t win _American Idol_ , not by a long shot, but he sounded good, and he looked way more relaxed that Stiles had ever seen him. It was a little surreal, especially because he still didn’t remember _any_ of it. His embarrassment was no longer of the secondhand variety.

_“Well, the world can be real tough._  
_Find shelter in me._  
_If there’s no one else to love,_  
_Keep me in mind.”_

The song went into a more laid back rhythm for the bridge, and Derek stumbled a little as he knelt down at the front of the stage, his attention completely focused on Stiles.

_“If ever you wanted me, I’ll be your man._  
_I’d be a fool to let you go with someone else._  
_Whatever you want from me, I’ll be your man._  
_I’d give it all up just to have you for myself.”_

As he stood back up, Derek almost fell backward on his ass, but he managed to catch himself. He cringed and brought a hand to his face briefly, but he seemed focused on Stiles’ reaction. For his part, the zonked Stiles in the video just laughed and cheered Derek on, whistling and yelling something indiscernible.

Recovering quickly, Derek managed to make it through the rest of the song without stumbling over either the words or his own two feet. When he finished, throwing his arms in the air in triumph, the small crowd started applauding wildly. Stiles and Scott could be seen jumping and clapping, and Cora sounded relieved as she let out a soft _that was awesome_ from behind the phone.

The video followed Derek as he returned the microphone and carefully made his way off the stage and down to where they stood. Cora held the phone up to his face, and before Derek could push it away, Stiles got a close-up view of the deep red blush high on his cheekbones, across the bridge of his nose, and even in his ears.

 _“Oh, god, that was a mistake,”_ Derek said, slurring his words a little. _“How bad was I?”_

 _“You were amazing, big brother.”_ The picture went dark and blurry for a moment as she hugged him before backing away, whispering something that Stiles couldn’t make out.

 _“Dude, that was freaking epic!”_ the Stiles in the video said around a giggle, looking very unsteady on his feet. _“Do you know that song by All Time Low? What’s the name of it? Shit, I can’t remember, but if I do, I’ll get up there with you and - whoa.”_ He pitched forward, nearly falling into Derek before Scott pulled him back. _“Did they turn on those weird lights? Everything’s_ really _spinny…”_

Cringing, Stiles watched as Scott pulled him away in the video, apologizing and letting the others know that they were going out to get some air. Lydia followed, leaving Cora and Derek alone. Derek watched them go, and when he turned back to the camera, he looked vaguely smitten.

 _“That was really brave, Der,”_ Cora said, her voice much softer. Derek just shrugged and glanced away, shaking his head.

 _“I’m gonna go find Ryne and get some water,”_ he mumbled, _“see if he’ll let me lay down in the back for a while.”_ It was only then that he seemed to notice Cora was still recording him, and he pushed the phone away. _“Turn that off.”_

 _“Want me to come along?”_ Cora pointed the phone at the floor, and Stiles heard Derek start to say something about her checking on the others before the video abruptly ended.

Stiles dropped his headphones to the desk and just sat there, staring at his laptop background, eyes burning. “Fuck,” he whispered, pressing the heels of his hands against his damp eyelashes. _“Fuck.”_

He’d missed his chance.

Derek had confessed his feelings - his love - for Stiles in a pretty grand way, and Stiles had been too drunk to notice.

And that was over half a decade ago.

He could have had Derek all that time. For _years_ , Stiles could have been showing Derek every single day how much he loved him in return. They could have been building a life together.

With a long sigh, Stiles finally pushed himself away from the desk in his spare-room-turned-office and made his way into his bedroom. He curled up on the bed, mind racing, trying not to mentally berate himself too badly.

Maybe there was a reason he hadn’t noticed back then. Stiles had been barely out of high school with four stressful years of college and a double major ahead of him. And Derek - well, Derek had needed to be three sheets to the wind to confess his feelings to Stiles, despite the fact that they’d seen each other often in those days.

Stiles wasn’t even sure how long he’d been laying there, his brain cycling through an overwhelming variety of what ifs and could have beens, when his phone chimed in his pocket.

**> Still coming over for dinner with your old man tonight?**

The simple, perfectly-timed text from his dad was just what Stiles needed to bring him back to the present and ground him there. He smiled fondly at the message before sending a reply, saying he wouldn’t miss it.

Before he got ready for dinner, though, he had another phone call to make.

\-------------

As Stiles drove north through Washington, absently drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in time to the music coming from his speakers, his mind was once again providing him with plenty of things over which to obsess, all of which centered around the fact that every passing mile was bringing him closer to Derek.

Before having dinner with his dad the day he’d watched the video, Stiles had called Cora. That first conversation was awkward, with Stiles confessing his feelings for Derek and Cora basically telling him in no uncertain terms that he was a dumbass for letting Derek get away.

The second call between them went better. Cora had admitted that, though it was the very definition of a grand gesture, Derek probably shouldn’t have put all of himself out there when both he and Stiles were too drunk and emotionally fucked up to really do anything about it. She’d also admitted that, in the years since, Derek had cultivated a life for himself in a small town nearly an hour’s drive northeast of Seattle, one that left him happy, healthy, and fulfilled.

Oh, and she’d let it slip that Derek was very single.

By the third call, Cora realized Stiles was serious. They’d spoken for nearly two hours, and in the end, Cora had been convinced enough of Stiles’ feelings for her brother that she’d given him the name of the town where Derek lived and the library where he volunteered. She’d stopped short of giving him Derek’s home address - _“if he wants you there, he’ll take you there.”_ She’d also made him swear he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Derek, a promise Stiles knew he’d definitely be able to keep.

Stiles had driven as far as Portland the day before, spending the night at a hotel. The town where Derek lived was another three-and-a-half hours from there, longer if Stiles stopped to eat or got directionally challenged. The trip would have been rough in Roscoe, who was still alive but running on duct tape and squirrel power, so he’d taken his other Jeep, a Grand Cherokee he’d bought himself as a college graduation present, instead. It hadn’t been new, but it was a beautiful shade of dark blue, well-kept, clean, and comfortable.

By the time Stiles got to the welcome sign for the small town where Derek lived, he was a nervous wreck. There were stunning mountain views in just about every direction, but he was too distracted to enjoy them just then. The reunion scenarios ran through his brain unchecked, some where Derek was thrilled to see him, others where he rejected Stiles and sent him away, claiming he’d learned to be happy without him.

He tried to force the thoughts from his mind as he drove slowly through town, taking in the small shops and the bank and a couple of restaurants, letting himself enjoy the quaint feel of it. By the time he got to the far end of town and saw the sign for the small public library, he actually managed a small smile.

The library was as cozy on the inside as it looked from the outside. There was a reading alcove on one side, complete with big, cushy chairs and a large window for natural light, and a bank of computers was tucked into a corner near the circulation desk. The rows upon rows of books called to him, but Stiles had more important things on his mind.

There was no sign of Derek, but a woman who reminded him vaguely of Susan Sarandon was standing behind the desk, watching him with a curious little smile on her face.

“May I help you?” she asked as he approached.

“Yeah, um, hi.” Now that he’d finally arrived, his mind was drawing a complete blank, mainly because he’d hoped to see Derek as soon as he walked through the doors. “Is - is Derek Hale here?”

The woman’s eyes lit up, and her smile morphed into something more personal.

“You’re a friend of Derek’s?”

“Yeah. He and I go way back.” In the off chance that Derek had actually spoken of him at some point, Stiles introduced himself.

“Oh! You’re Stiles?” She gave him a knowing look. “Derek's mentioned you a few times. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Grace.” She held out her hand, and when Stiles shook it, he was surprised at the wave of relaxation that swept through him, pushing out the anxiety altogether.

“Nice to meet you, too,” he replied, not sure what else to say. It wasn’t like Derek had told Stiles about Grace - or about _anything_ in the years since they’d last seen each other. “Nothing bad, I hope.”

“Goodness, no, not at all,” Grace said with a laugh. She pointed to a door at the back of the library. “Derek’s out back, tending to the fairy garden.”

“The, uh, oh. Okay.” Stiles mirrored Grace’s gesture, his eyes darting between her face and the door. Fairy garden?

As Stiles made his way through the library, he saw a few people scattered throughout, as well as a group of parents having a reading circle with their young kids in a corner decorated in a jungle theme. Had he not been looking for Derek, Stiles might have stopped to listen.

Stiles stepped out into the sunlight and was met with two sights that stopped him in his tracks - a beautifully-landscaped yard with flower gardens, benches, and walkways, and Derek Hale bent over a plot under a large tree that was apparently the aforementioned fairy garden. It didn’t matter how many years it had been since they’d last seen each other; Stiles would recognize that body anywhere.

Derek was alone and was working on a small village, complete with huts, tiny stone walkways, and a variety of plants. And Stiles could tell the very moment that Derek caught his scent.

The older man froze, lifting his head, then looked back over his shoulder so quickly that Stiles was almost caught off guard by the movement. Derek’s lips soundlessly formed his name, and then he was on his feet, dusting his hands off on his well-worn jeans as he hurried down the walkway.

Stiles had thought of so many different ways their reunion could have gone, but the outcome he got was so much better than anything his analytical mind could have conjured.

“Stiles.” This time, Derek said his name out loud, and Stiles quickly found himself wrapped in Derek’s arms. He reciprocated, falling into the embrace, reveling in the warmth of the other man’s body against his. Derek tucked his face into Stiles’ neck and breathed deeply, and Stiles swallowed down the emotion that bubbled up in his throat at such a simple, but important, gesture.

When they finally pulled away from each other, Derek was actually beaming at him, looking so much less reserved and more relaxed than the Derek he’d known years ago. Derek’s hands were wrapped around Stiles’ biceps, keeping him close.

“Hey, Derek,” Stiles said softly, grinning right back as he took in the sheer happiness in Derek’s beautiful eyes. Once upon a time, Stiles might have been a little unnerved to see such an expression on Derek’s face, but Cora had given him plenty of warning that Derek was finally content and at peace, and that he reminded her of the Derek from before the fire.

“Stiles, I - I can’t believe you’re here.” He gave Stiles’ arms a squeeze before finally letting go.

“In the flesh.” Stiles knew Derek could hear the trip-hammering of his heart, but he tried to play it cool anyway. “Cora didn’t say anything?”

Derek’s brow furrowed, but it looked so much less threatening than it once did. “She knew you were coming?”

Shit. He’d just thrown Cora under the proverbial bus, and it was too late to backtrack. “Um, kind of. Yeah. She - I may have given her that impression.”

Derek rolled his eyes, his expression morphing into one of exasperated fondness. “I shouldn’t be surprised.” He ducked his head, but not before Stiles noticed the blush starting to rise high on his cheeks. “She did tell me she sent you the video.”

“Yeah,” Stiles said, a little unnerved by Derek’s embarrassment. “Wait. She did ask you if it was okay first, right?”

Derek looked back up, and Stiles was relieved to see that there was a slightly sheepish grin on his face. “She did. And I’m still kicking myself for saying yes.”

“Why? It was great!”

The smile slid from Derek’s face, and Stiles’ stomach sank. “No, it wasn’t. It was wrong. I - I shouldn’t have gotten drunk, and I shouldn’t have put that on you.” He sighed, and Stiles was just about to jump in with a reassurance. Before he could, though, Derek continued. “I only came along on that trip with Cora to see you one last time, you know. I thought about telling you how I felt when I was still sober, but I couldn’t do it. You were just barely out of high school, and I wasn’t in the best place mentally, which is probably why I ended up getting so drunk in the first place. My heart wanted you to stay with me, my mind wanted you to get the hell out and experience life, and...well, you know what they say about alcohol and brain cells.”

Stiles gaped at him. He didn’t think he’d ever heard Derek say so much at one time. “I, um, wow. Okay.”

“Sorry,” Derek said with a smirk. “My therapist taught me how to talk about things instead of bottling it all up.” His voice and expression softened. “I’m - I’ve changed.”

“Yeah, you have.” Stiles gave him a half-smile and a once-over. Derek had indeed changed, and not just in his ability to open up about his feelings. He was still as beautiful as Stiles remembered, and obviously still stayed in good shape. His hair was a little longer, though, and there were traces of silver in his beard, which was trimmed short but still fuller than the stubble he sported in the past. He carried himself differently, too - less rigid, more casual, but with a confidence that could only have come from a place of love. It gave Stiles the distinct feeling that Derek was surrounded by people who cared about him, who made him feel appreciated. 

“It looks good on you,” Stiles added before he could stop himself. 

Derek gave him an honest-to-god shy smile. “Thanks. That means a lot.” They stood there for a moment, just watching each other, and Stiles found that he didn’t mind the scrutiny nearly as much as he did any other time, with anyone else. The spell was finally broken when Derek cleared his throat.

“So, I’m just about done here. I was going to grab something to eat and head home. Are you hungry?”

“Starving, actually.” Stiles had downed a quick breakfast at the hotel, but the nervousness over finally seeing Derek again had made it settle like a lump in the pit of his stomach, and he’d decided against eating anything else. Now that things were off to a great start between them, his hunger was starting to make itself known again.

“Let me go in and wash up, and then we’ll head over to the diner.”

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting in a quiet corner booth at the back of the town diner. Derek didn’t even bother opening his menu, but he waited patiently as Stiles read through the offerings. With his stomach pressuring him into it, he decided on an open-faced hot turkey sandwich with mashed potatoes. That got a nod of approval from Derek, who ended up ordering broiled stuffed flounder for himself.

When the waitress left, Stiles looked over to find Derek watching him, a small smile on his face.

“What?”

“I’m glad you’re here. It’s really good to see you.”

“You, too.” Stiles felt himself blushing. He wanted to ask the million dollar question, wanted to know if Derek really meant it when he sang that song years ago, but he decided to start with something a little more innocuous. “So how did you end up here? I mean, if you want to talk about it.”

Derek took a sip of his iced tea and shrugged. “I got tired of running. Spent some time living with Cora and her pack, but it didn't feel like I belonged there, and I still had a lot of issues to sort through.” He rubbed at the condensation on the glass with his thumb. “Before the fire, our pack had been close with the pack from this area. We used to come up here and stay for a couple of weeks every summer. We’d run with them and train and swim and just hang out. It was great.”

Stiles stared in wonder at the distant look in Derek’s eyes, the nostalgic smile on his face. It was the first time he’d ever heard Derek speak so freely about that time in his life, and the first time he’d ever seen memories of the past bring out a smile in him.

The filter he’d developed in college temporarily deserted him. “Wow, you really _are_ happier here.”

Derek threw back his head and laughed, a full-on, shoulders shaking, tears-in-his-eyes, belly laugh. It wasn’t loud enough for people sitting nearby to give them more than a glance, but it was clear Derek wasn’t holding back.

And Stiles...well, Stiles wasn’t sure what to do with the way it made him feel, seeing Derek laugh like that for the first time, knowing he was the one who made it happen. Normally, he’d be self-conscious, but Derek wasn’t laughing to make fun of what he said. That became especially clear when Derek wiped the dampness from the corners of his eyes and focused his gaze back on Stiles.

There wasn’t just happiness in those kaleidoscope eyes. There was fondness. There was _love_. Bright and beautiful love, and Derek was completely sober.

“You’re right,” Derek finally agreed, his voice soft. “I am. It took a change of scenery, a new pack, and a good bit of therapy, but I…” He trailed off and glanced down at the table, a small, private smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “I’m happier than I’ve been in a really long time.”

Stiles grinned back but didn’t say anything, still not quite trusting himself to not somehow ruin the moment. Thankfully, their food arrived, and Stiles was quickly distracted by the delicious meal in front of him.

They ate in silence at first, but it wasn’t long until they were deep in conversation again. Stiles told Derek about his college years and about the work he did for law enforcement, both in and out of Beacon Hills. Derek explained that he volunteered not only at the library, but also at a nearby state park and as a dog walker for the local animal shelter.

He’d sold the building he owned in Beacon Hills years ago and, after finally settling down in the small town where they now sat, had purchased a home there. The Roberts pack had welcomed him with open arms, and though they had the occasional run-in with a wayward omega, things were pretty quiet overall.

It was abundantly clear that Derek hadn’t simply found a home and a pack that welcomed him as family. He’d finally found his place in the world.

And Stiles almost felt a little ashamed of himself for wondering if there was a place for _him_ in Derek’s world. He was torn between wanting to ask and not wanting to risk disturbing the balance in Derek’s new life. Derek wasn’t just happier, he was more open, able to talk about his family and the past without the pain and guilt that had weighed on him years ago. He smiled, he laughed, he traded greetings with just about everyone they’d seen in town. He was more tactile - fingers wrapped around Stiles’ biceps at the library, a hand at the small of his back when they entered the diner.

Stiles wanted that. He wanted desperately to be a part of that, a part of Derek’s new life. At the same time, he was afraid of messing it up, or worse, afraid that Derek had moved past his feelings for Stiles and was perfectly content to live without him.

He took a deep breath, hiding his shaking hands under the table as Derek glanced over the check.

“Hey, uh, Derek?”

“Not here.” Derek gave him a knowing look, but there was no tension in it, no sign that Derek was bothered by whatever he’d gathered from Stiles’ scent and heartbeat. “My place is just a few miles away.”

“Oh, yeah. Right. Okay.”

“Stiles, relax. Whatever’s going on in your head, just don’t let it get to you. I still feel the same, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’d rather save the rest for somewhere other than the diner, though.” Derek arched an eyebrow at him, and damn, but that still did things to Stiles like it did when he was in high school. He felt his mouth drop open but was powerless to stop it, and Derek gave him a satisfied nod. “That’s better. Now, let’s get out of here.”

Derek paid the bill and left a generous tip, and then they were on the road again, Stiles following behind Derek’s Crosstrek. Just outside of town, Derek turned onto a small road, and then less than a mile later, veered onto an even smaller road that brought them to a small development hidden back in the woods. It looked downright quaint, and Stiles found himself smiling as Derek led him back to the house at the end of the cul-de-sac. He pulled up beside Derek in front of the garage, and Derek met him at the door of the Jeep.

“So,” he said as Stiles got out, almost looking a little nervous. “This is it.”

Stiles looked up at the house, and for a reason he couldn’t yet comprehend, something inside of him settled. It was quite the opposite of the places Derek had lived years ago, a beautiful rambler with a welcoming vibe, painted a shade that landed somewhere between blue and gray. There was a small flower garden next to the garage, and the triskeles in the stone mosaic walkway leading up to the porch caught Stiles’ eye.

“Derek, this is great.” Stiles looked up just in time to catch the relief in Derek’s eyes before he schooled it away. “This walkway…” He gestured at the stonework, and Derek beamed.

“I did most of that myself.”

“Oh my god, really?”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Derek said with a laugh. He led Stiles up the walkway, hand once again finding the small of his back, and unlocked the door with his free hand. As soon as they were inside, Derek crowded him up against the door, his body a solid line against Stiles’ own.

Instead of kissing him, though, Derek simply nuzzled Stiles’ cheek, eyes closed, a look of bliss on his face.

“Is this okay?” he murmured, breathing deeply just under Stiles’ ear.

“Yeah, of course.” Stiles tilted his head to the side, and Derek dropped his face into Stiles’ neck, scenting him as he had at the library, but this time more aggressively. After a moment or two, Derek let out a long, relieved sigh and gathered Stiles in his arms, sagging against him.

“Fuck,” he breathed, forehead resting on Stiles’ shoulder. “Sorry. I – I’m sorry.” He started to pull away, but Stiles kept him close.

“Don’t be.”

Derek closed his eyes again and seemed to be gathering himself before opening them, lips curling into something between a smile and a grimace. “I just…you smell so good, and you’re in my house, and I’m still trying to convince myself that you’re really here.” He breathed deeply through his nose, and his expression morphed into a genuine smile. “Come on in.” He backed away, one of his hands sliding down, fingers wrapping loosely around Stiles’ own.

Stiles squeezed Derek’s fingers and allowed himself to be led into the house. It was as beautiful inside as outside, decorated in a rustic lodge motif that was homey without being kitschy. There was a big, comfy-looking sectional sofa in the living room across from a flat screen TV, and to Stiles’ surprise, there was even a fireplace. There were framed photos scattered across the top of the hardwood mantel, and though most of them were shots of people, Stiles’ eyes were immediately drawn to one in particular.

It was a picture of him with Derek.

Both of them were smiling, but neither were looking directly at the camera. And judging by the surroundings, they were in the club in San Francisco, on that last fateful night they all spent together.

“Cora took that,” Derek said softly, thumb stroking over the back of Stiles’ hand. “That was before I got drunk and messed everything up.”

“Oh, you weren’t the only one, buddy,” Stiles scoffed, giving Derek a nudge. “You poured your heart out to me in a freaking song – one I never would have thought you even knew, by the way – and I was so fucking plastered that I didn’t realize what was happening and didn’t remember it after I sobered up. You were probably waiting for a reaction, and I almost passed out on you.”

Derek turned to him and shrugged. “Like I said at the library, it wasn’t exactly the best time for something like that anyway.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow. “Sooooo…is now maybe a better time?”

Derek just looked at him for a moment, eyes moving over his face, lips turning up in a soft, beautiful smile.

“Now is definitely a better time.” His free hand came up to cup Stiles’ jaw, thumb skating over Stiles’ cheekbone. “I still love you. And I’m sober this time.”

Stiles leaned into the touch. “I love you, too, you gorgeous, sappy wolfman.” He waggled his eyebrows, and Derek chuckled, even as his smile grew more fond. “And the only thing I’m drunk on is being here with you.”

Derek groaned, hand slipping down to wrap around the back of Stiles’ neck. “And you called _me_ sappy.”

Stiles gave him a smug look. “Takes one to know one.” He licked his lips, watched Derek’s eyes follow the movement. “So, can I – can I kiss you?”

Derek looked startled, his eyes going wide. Puzzled, Stiles opened his mouth to backtrack, but Derek beat him to it, shaking his head. “It’s okay,” he said, his voice rough but still strong. “It just, uh, means a lot that you asked.” The trust in Derek’s eyes in that moment was intense, and it dawned on Stiles why his simple question was so important.

Derek had mentioned therapy, and he’d almost certainly had to work through the fact that he’d been not only taken advantage of, but sexually abused. Stiles knew that coming to terms with something like that, admitting it was true, would have been a monumental paradigm shift for someone like Derek, who’d spent so long blaming himself and thinking he could never love without being hurt.

“God, Derek,” he breathed, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

“Whoa, hey, no.” Derek brought both hands up to cradle Stiles’ face. “Stiles, I trust you.” He gave Stiles that same fond smile again. “Now, didn’t you mention something about a kiss?” Before Stiles could respond, Derek closed the distance between them.

Truth be told, Stiles had imagined what his first kiss with Derek might be like, _many_ times. It had figured into so, so many of his fantasies for the past several years. He wasn’t surprised, though, that none of those fantasies even came close to the real thing.

Derek kissed him slowly, gently, as if savoring the feel of Stiles’ lips on his own. There was an underlying hunger there, too, bred from years of longing, of _want_. It didn’t take away from the tenderness of the moment, though, and Stiles wasn’t about to change that. He was perfectly content to let Derek have control, to let him decide how much he wanted to give, how much he wanted to take.

Derek guided them to the sofa, walking backward, never breaking the kiss. He pulled Stiles down with him, and when Stiles gasped at the sudden feeling of falling, Derek’s tongue pushed into his mouth, a little tentative at first. Stiles made an approving noise, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth even as they kissed.

They made out for countless minutes, and though both of them were starting to get aroused, Derek didn’t seem like he was in a hurry to move things along just yet. Stiles was okay with the slower pace. It actually calmed him, made him feel like what was happening between them wasn’t something rushed, something short-term.

Finally, Derek pulled away, dropping his face to Stiles’ neck, his breath washing over Stiles’ skin as he panted. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Stiles sighed, fingertips stroking through the hair behind Derek’s ear. They laid there for countless minutes, content to just be with each other, before Derek finally broke the silence.

“How – how long are you here?” The question was almost hesitant, as if Derek wasn’t sure he really wanted to hear the answer.

“Well, Dad gave me a week off and his blessing.” At Derek’s surprised hum, Stiles nodded, his cheek mussing Derek’s hair. “Yeah, he knows why I’m here. I think he’s been mentally preparing himself for years – you know, for the day I’d go chasing after you.”

He felt Derek smile against his neck. “So, you’re staying here, right? You know, the nearest motel is maybe a half hour’s drive, and I have all this space…”

“If that’s an invitation, I absolutely accept.” He reached down, fingers gliding over Derek’s beard as he tilted his chin up. There was a look of bliss, mixed with a little smugness, on Derek’s face, and Stiles couldn’t help smirking at him. “Just remember, when you’re annoyed with me by the end of the week, that you were the one who suggested I stay here.”

Derek rolled his eyes, and wow, did that bring back memories. “That’s not going to happen. Finally having you here is like a dream come true.” He paused, ducking his head for a moment. When he looked back up, his expression was almost shy. “I’m not going to want you to leave.”

Stiles turned that statement over in his head. Truth was, after he’d seen the video and had made up his mind to visit Derek, he’d thought about what might happen in the long-term, had pondered what his options would be if Derek wanted him to stay.

“Well, see, the thing about that is,” he said, “Dad’s been talking retirement. Now that he and Scott’s mom have gotten really serious, I think he wants to take some time off and travel with her. And, you know, I was mainly staying there to work with him. So…” He watched Derek closely, but the other man’s face stayed frustratingly neutral. “I may be in the mood for a change of scenery myself.”

“Is that right?” When Stiles nodded, Derek allowed a small smile. “So, this region is kind of small, and I have it on good authority that they don’t really get a lot of outside help. Definitely not someone with forensics experience – or supernatural knowledge.” Derek raised his eyebrows pointedly.

“You think they might need someone like me?”

“I’m sure they do.” Derek gave him a knowing look. “Our local PD contracts out to the county sheriff’s department, by the way. It wouldn’t be hard to transfer in, especially with a referral from another sheriff. Oh, and Grace, at the library, is not only the alpha’s sister, but she’s married to the deputy who acts as our chief of police. She treats me like a little brother and thinks it’s her life’s mission to see me happy. I think she’d be willing to put in a good word for you, too.” 

“You’re serious.” It wasn’t a question. Stiles already knew the answer, but he liked the idea of hearing it straight from Derek. And truth be told, he was still getting used to open, talkative Derek.

“Very.” Derek reached for one of Stiles’ hands, squeezing his fingers. “I’ve been in love with you for years, so I’ve had a while to think about this. You’ll always have a place here, Stiles - with me, with all of us - whenever you’re ready.” He paused for a moment and gave Stiles a small, private smile. “Take your time, and I’ll be waiting.”

Stiles blinked, overcome by the words and the sentiment behind them. There were so many things he wanted to say - part of him wanted to accept right away, part of him wanted to admit that the idea of making such a big move terrified him as much as it thrilled him, and part of him wanted to warn Derek to be careful of wishing for such things.

Then the last thing Derek said sparked recognition somewhere in his mind, and he understood the expectant look Derek was trying to hide from him.

“I see what you did there,” he said softly, leaning in to peck Derek on the lips. “Although it, um, kinda sounds even better when we’re both sober.” Derek huffed out a laugh and dropped his forehead to Stiles’ chest, but not before Stiles caught sight of the faint blush high on his cheeks. “And I don’t need any more time. I think we’ve both waited long enough.” Derek made a small, contented noise and tilted his head enough to plant a line of kisses along the underside of Stiles’ jaw.

“You’re tired,” Derek murmured.

Stiles didn’t even bother to ask how he knew. “Mmm, yeah. Haven’t been able to sleep much lately, and then there was the drive up here, and the emotional roller coaster, and so much diner food, and now we’re cuddling on your freaking amazing sofa.”

“Why don’t you take a nap?” Derek’s fingers traced a soothing pattern on Stiles’ arm. “If you’re feeling up to it later, maybe we’ll go out. There’s a pub in the next town over that’s closed to the public one night a week - which happens to be tonight - so the pack can get together and have a good time. I could introduce you to everyone.”

“Seriously?” Stiles pulled back far enough to get a good look at Derek’s face. The older man was once again grinning at him and answered his question with a nod. “That sounds great, actually.”

“Get some sleep. I’ll wake you in plenty of time to get ready.”

They shifted around on the sofa until both of them were comfortable, which ended with Derek spooning Stiles, one arm wrapped loosely around his waist. Stiles sighed as his head sank into a throw pillow, still in awe of the fact that he was actually there with Derek and that they both still loved each other. He was just about to drift off when a thought occurred to him.

“Hey, Derek? Do they have karaoke at the pub?”

Derek snorted into his hair. “They do.”

“Will you sing for me again?”

“Maybe. Now sleep.”

Stiles wriggled against him. “That wasn’t a no.”

“Stiles.”

“Love you.”

Derek let out a fond half-growl, half-sigh. “Love you, too. Sleep.”

“Yes, dear,” Stiles said, mainly to get in the last word. Derek’s arm tightened around him, though, and Stiles melted into his warmth.

It didn’t take long for him to start drifting, a lazy smile tugging at his mouth. This new phase in his relationship with Derek was just getting started, yet Stiles already felt a kind of peace he’d almost forgotten existed.

They may have taken the long road to get there, from the false accusations in high school to the drunken love song half a decade ago, through Stiles’ college education and Derek’s new pack and therapy, to a chance conversation with Scott and a long-saved video from Cora.

All of those things were worth it, though, to be where Stiles was in that moment - safe in Derek’s arms.

***

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk Sterek with me on [tumblr](http://anodyneer.tumblr.com/)! <3
> 
> The song Derek sings (with the obvious change to the first line) is "Keep Me In Mind" by Zac Brown Band - here's a [YouTube link](https://youtu.be/BwjTfUkBsBc).


End file.
